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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23513506">No one's around to judge me (apart from my friends)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/bulletsandroses/pseuds/bulletsandroses'>bulletsandroses</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Attempt at Humor, F/M, Fluff and Crack, M/M, Pansy Parkinson is a Good Friend, but also snarky af, draco malfoy is cute af, just slytherins being slytherins, the Slytherins at college with their lack of social skills, what could go wrong</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 13:20:25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>18,285</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23513506</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/bulletsandroses/pseuds/bulletsandroses</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Now that I think about it, we were a weird group, all of us lonely goners who stuck with each other because… actually, it was our parents’ money that had brought us together and, right then, I guess we didn’t really feel like making new friends.</p><p>Draco Malfoy. Hermione Granger. A friendship, a party, a problem. A disfunctional group of Slytherins who just don't know how to properly socialize.<br/>How Draco Malfoy deals with his feelings towards Granger, from his friend's eyes.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Daphne Greengrass/Theodore Nott, Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy, Neville Longbottom/Pansy Parkinson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>54</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Blaise Zabini</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I can't really explain much. This fic just kind of happened in the middle of the quarantine. Thank you all!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>Blaise – Almost a month after <em>The Day with Capital D</em>.</strong>
</p><p>Here’s the thing. This story should be all about me because it was thanks to me that everything happened this way.</p><p>I had been friends with Draco Malfoy for a lifetime and, let’s face it, I had been extremely patient. I had been there for his first crush, for his first heartbreak (over Pansy Parkinson, fact he never ever brought up), even for his first fight with his father (it was when he was 13, over a stupid video-game Mr. Malfoy thought was beneath his son’s intelligence). Honestly, I didn’t really know what Mr. M expected from his son, apart from disgrace. He wasn’t a smart one. Intelligent, yes, but not smart.</p><p>
  <em>That was hardly offensive. You can do better.</em>
</p><p>But, honest to God, for the last month he was getting on my nerves. He was so insufferable, all whiny and bitchy and chanting “I want to know what love is, I want to make my daddy proud, I want bagels, Blaise, I really love bagels”.</p><p>Who likes bagels nowadays, having Doughnuts? I really thought he would pass for a Canadian, always crying and wanting hot coffee, if it weren’t for that thick, posh, unnatural accent that made him seem to be born in Queen Elizabeth’s chambers.</p><p>
  <em>I have never called him daddy in my life.</em>
</p><p>The real reason he was being a little girl since that stupid Halloween party? It seemed obvious to us all, but no one was brave enough to say it out loud.</p><p>Well, Pansy was.</p><p>In fact, Pansy did.</p><p>“You are pathetic” she told Draco as a greeting, one cold morning in late November. He was actually having a good day, since he was outside, sitting at a bar, having grey earl tea and chatting with Theo. It was kind of sad, seeing him with that oversized, ugly sweater Daphne had described as “<em>Something I would wear on a zombie apocalypse because it would scare the dead off”. </em>Daphne, in fact, and I were on our way to the bathroom when we stopped on our track and just observed.</p><p>Pansy Parkinson was a force of nature. She was sharp, beautiful, dangerous and, well, terrifying. I didn’t even know why we even had her in our group at that point, apart from the fact she could do anything she wanted and we could just wave her and let her do her thing.</p><p>She was brutally honest, too. It was both a blessing and a curse.</p><p>“I really think you should be more specific, which aspect of my life are you referring to as pathetic?” Draco answered, coldly, raising his cup of tea to his lips. I could feel Daphne rolling her eyes as she took a seat, not missing this moment for anything in the world.</p><p>Pansy just stared back at him, her eyes glaring with, I don’t even know, to be honest. They could light with the strength of all the people she might have murdered before.</p><p>
  <em>You take that back R I G H T NO W.</em>
</p><p>“Don’t play games with me, Draco Lucius Malfoy. That thing you have with Granger? It is depressing, and it makes me sick, and it is interfering with <em>my </em>life” she began, taking off her navy-blue coat and folding it neatly, her dark eyes never leaving Draco’s.</p><p>Theo took a step backwards and sat next to Daphne, as I stood there, unable to talk. I had honestly forgotten when Theo had blessed us with his presence. Now that I think about it, we were a weird group, all of us lonely goners who stuck with each other because… actually, it was our parents’ money that had brought us together and, right then, at that moment in life, all of us having decided to study at the same campus, I guess we didn’t really feel like making new friends.</p><p>
  <em>That was mean, Blaise. I spend time with you because I like you.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Yeah, Daph, we all believe you.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>You’re actually the worst. I don’t want to be friends with you anymore.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>As I already said, we are stuck with each other, deal with it, Miss Daisy.</em>
</p><p>There was Daphne, all butterflies and colors and Lady Gaga songs. Theo was the dark one, always quiet, always expecting Daphne to look at him as if she actually wanted to have sex with him.</p><p>
  <em>Fuck you, Zabini.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>You too, Nott. Are you gonna let me talk or what?</em>
</p><p>There was Malfoy, the only one who could actually have some friends who weren’t us, since he liked to talk.</p><p>
  <em>Look how it turned out to be. That’s what you get when you try to substitute us.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Nice point, Pans. I might add it to my story, which you’re rudely interrupting.</em>
</p><p>Draco Malfoy was the intelligent one. Only second in class to that Granger girl, way ahead of Pansy, who was too busy judging everyone and wearing pointy shoes to even care about school. Five of us. That was all, and for the moment, that was enough.</p><p>Daphne was looking at me as if expecting me to do something. Theo was looking at me, too, encouraging me to stop the torture Draco was going to suffer before it actually happened. It was tiring, to always fulfill everyone’s expectations, so I kept my mouth shut. People usually expect me to interrupt because I’m the funniest out of them all, which is not a difficult task. They were all boring as hell. But this, it was an <strong>intervention</strong>.</p><p>Daphne had had one when she was shagging her sister’s boyfriend. (turns out it had all gone to shit since Astoria had begun dating Draco out of pure rage and he had ended up traumatized for two months because, as he had said, I literally quote: “<em>Blaise, they are the same, they look so fucking much alike, I mean, her bloody face, it’s Daphne, I can’t fuck Daphne”</em>, so we were at the point of not talking to Astoria, like, at all)</p><p>Even I had had one intervention, two months ago, when I tried to get over my ridiculous crush on that stupid Harry Potter boy.</p><p>
  <em>You’re good at lying to yourself.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Shut up.</em>
</p><p>In fact, if it hadn’t been because of me dragging them all to that frat party he had organized in order to prove myself I was totally over that idiot, well, Drakey would have never spoken to that Hermione Granger girl and he wouldn’t be in that situation that was bothering us all.</p><p>But it had been a big terrible mistake to bring Draco there, as Theo often liked to remind me, it had all become messy and it was all splashing us- nobody liked it, nobody wanted to face it so nobody talked about that night.</p><p>“You have a creepy obsession with that Hermione Granger girl and I can’t listen to you complaining about it all day long, you know? My life is all full of Hermione Granger now. I already see her in class, Draco, there’s no need to be spoken to about how stupid she has made you” Pansy snarled, to which Draco frowned. Pansy didn’t even flinch and sat in front of him, accepting the glass of sparkly water with a slice of lime and two ice-cubes the waiter handed her without even looking back at him.</p><p>She was elegant in every imaginable way and she was so right.</p><p>
  <em>God, I love you. You’ll write my memoir.</em>
</p><p>“These people” she pointed to us “have been texting me at least thirty-fucking-five times a day, praying for an intervention. I can’t deal with it anymore”</p><p>“These people are traitors” Draco muttered. Theo shook his head.</p><p>“We have NOT been doing that”. I rolled my eyes, as Pansy took her phone out of her Michael Korrs purse and cleared her throat.</p><p>“<strong><em>Hey, Pans, not to bother you but, didn’t you know of a natural remedy to shut Malfoy up? Was it The Impossible movie? Or was it Pearl Harbor?”</em></strong></p><p>Daphne bit her lip, shooting Draco a look.</p><p>“Look, I didn’t actually remember which was the protocol to deal with sad Malfoy and I really wanted to ask the expert” she began. Pansy rolled her eyes. “I am sorry” she whispered, but Draco had already crossed his arms, leaning over the table.</p><p>“God, you <em>are </em>idiots. Just play <em>Braveheart</em>, you’ve asked me a million times already” Pansy growled, while scrolling on his phone. She made a face. “This is a good one, Zabini”</p><p>I swore.</p><p>“<strong><em>Hey, are you free? I tried calling Lucifer, he didn’t answer. Wanna grab dinner and then threaten a girl to date someone? It is for a friend”</em></strong></p><p>“You are sick” Draco told me.</p><p>“We are talking about your sick, obsessive problem here, not mine” I shot back.</p><p>“Not the point” Pansy interrupted. “<strong><em>Hey, I know B has already told you, but, uhm… do you know which is the song Draco always plays when he’s mad that makes him cry and then want to punch someone?</em></strong>” she read, arching an eyebrow. Draco swore again and took another sip from his tea. Seriously, Friday night, drinking tea. He really was weird as hell.</p><p>“We are just worried, man. You have been acting like a sad owl the whole month” Daphne intervened with a pity voice.</p><p>“I’ll punch you if you ever begin with that <em>woe, I shall never find love again</em> attitude” Theo added.</p><p>“Don’t you all think maybe you are exaggerating? I mean, it’s Draco. He’s fine. He’ll get over that crush”</p><p>“It’s not a crush” Draco snapped, and I shot him an angry glare.</p><p>“You are not helping!” I hissed “I am trying to save you from her!”</p><p>Pansy shot us three a look that had me shaking in my bones, and I closed my mouth.</p><p>“What’s the deal, then, for fuck’s sake?! Draco, you know she has a boyfriend, don’t you?” Pansy snapped, to which Draco rolled his eyes at her. His lip was trembling and for a moment I expected the worse. I felt Daphne taking my hand and I pictured the image of Draco throwing the table away and closing his hands on Pansy’s delicate throat.</p><p>You did not talk about Hermione Granger’s boyfriend in front of Malfoy. It was a rule we had learned to follow, one that Pansy had probably forgotten, or maybe she liked pain, which didn’t surprise me. Everybody has his kinks.</p><p>What I did not expect was Draco’s sudden gasp and then…</p><p>Well, then he just began bawling his eyes out.</p><p>And he.</p><p>Did.</p><p>Not.</p><p>Stop.</p><p>Crying.</p><p>It was something I should have recorded for later because, god, it was glorious. Draco was a fine man, don’t get me wrong, he was all cute and athletic and Hermione Granger was an idiot for preferring that freckled nobody instead of him.</p><p>But, man, was he an ugly crier. We were all shocked, to say the least, and Theo was the only one moving, clumsily clapping on his back. Pansy just stood there, her dark mouth forming a perfect “O”, staring at him and then back at Daphne and me, who didn’t know what to do.</p><p>“Is there something else you need to tell us, Draco?”</p><p>“I… I just… fuck, I am pathetic” he began. Pansy nodded, to which Daphne punched her arm slightly, beginning a quiet fight between the two of them. <em>IT’S THE TRUTH!</em> Pansy screamed with her eyes. <em>Well you should be a little understanding </em>Daphne mouthed back. <em>YOU ASKED FOR THIS. </em>“It’s just… man, she did kiss me. She…” he whined and I tried my hardest not to laugh at him. “I thought she was… she was going to call it off and she…”</p><p>“She didn’t, we all know that” I finished for him. That girl was trouble.</p><p>“Honey, you can’t be seen like that” Daphne murmured, softly.</p><p>“You do, in fact, have a reputation” Pansy reminded him. “I don’t know how long that’ll last” she added, snarky as she always was. Draco mouthed <em>Fuck you </em>but, at least, he seemed to have calmed down.</p><p>“Uncalled for. But you’re right. If she was just playing with me, then, fuck her. I mean, she was the cheater, wasn’t she?” He did sound pathetic, I thought. He was not at all sure of his actual feelings, but it was a beginning.</p><p>Hermione Granger was, in fact, a cheater.</p><p>She had kissed Draco, dragged him to the bathroom and done who-knows-what in the hour and a half they were gone from the party. Next week she was seen in campus holding hands with his still-boyfriend Weasley and Draco had officially fully entered his self-loathing month of despising love.</p><p>I guess it wouldn’t hurt Draco that much if she wasn’t, in fact, his friend. I mean, I am so good at this psychoanalyzing stuff. But it was the truth, Draco was Granger’s friend before she kissed him.</p><p>But he had waited. He was hopeful to be with her, as soon as she broke up with that Weasley boy. And then, she had kissed him, in front of basically everyone, so he had thought they were getting somewhere. And his hopes had been crushed the next week.</p><p>“She does not deserve you, hon” Daphne assured him. Theo nodded.</p><p>“Man, you weren’t even the one who kissed her”</p><p>“You were dragged into the boyfriend zone and then back to the friend-zone in like, days. That was low” I murmured, showing my support by asking for two rounds of four beers and a San Francisco, no peach.</p><p>“Okay, first of all, the friend-zone does not exist. You men have to learn to deal with rejection” Pansy pointed out, offering the waiter her credit card. “Second” she stared at me “you idiot, how many times do I have to tell you it’s pineapple what I don’t like?”</p><p>I snorted.</p><p>“So many people would love to have a chance with you, Draco” Daphne said, her sweet voice calming. “Think of my sister”</p><p>
  <em>Not my best choice of words, I admit it.</em>
</p><p>“God, not her sister” I growled. Pansy rolled her eyes and was beginning another quiet confrontation with Daphne when I locked my eyes with Theo. And I swear I heard both our heads thinking the same thing.</p><p>It was Theo who talked.</p><p>“We” he announced. “Are finding you a girlfriend”</p><p>“I only ever made plans with Granger” Draco sobbed, which made me want to slash my throat. Pansy, again, had been right. That was pathetic.</p><p>
  <em>You’re just realizing it now, aren’t you? I’m always right.</em>
</p><p>“Well, we were your friends before that cheater b…”</p><p>“Careful” Pansy snarled. I coughed.</p><p>“We were your friends before that <em>adorable snake </em>played with your feelings, so, congratulations because you’ve earned a pre-Christmas party that our Queen of Hell to my left will be happy to organize” I announced, my voice as solemnly as I could, and I raised my beer.</p><p>Draco looked reluctant to cheer.</p><p>“You’d better, because we all made the bet when you’re going to hook up with a girl and <em>I am not losing” </em>Theo threatened him, to which Draco had no choice but to raise his own cup of tea.</p><p>“God, you are stupid” Pansy murmured, handing him the beer. “Man up”</p><p>“Uncalled for. Also, sexist” Draco added, but… was it a smile on his face? Oh, it was. And that, my friends, is when I realized maybe, just maybe, Draco Malfoy was about to get over his crush on Hermione Granger.</p><p>Maybe that way he would hook up with Potter’s other best friend, the Weaslette, and I could get closer to him. Which was not my plan at all.</p><p>Because I didn’t like Potter and I was so over him it was ridiculous how little I thought of him.</p><p>
  <em>Of course.</em>
</p><p>I was only thinking of my friend. And I really hoped that party would cheer him up. Not only that, I did hope it would make him forget about Granger until she was just a mere bad memory he only remembered when he was lying in bed, about to die, regretting how much time he cried for her.</p><p>
  <em>As expected, you were wrong.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Oh, no shit, Sherlock, thank you for reminding me.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I was just saying, a party got us to where we were. And a party dragged us to a much worse place.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Yeah, Nott, it was both our idea, so shut the fuck up.</em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Daphne Greengrass</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>Daphne – Two days before <em>The Day with Capital D</em></strong>
</p>
<p>
  <em>First of all, I don’t get why it’s called The Day with Capital D. It happened at a party, so it was at night. It should be The Evening with Capital E, so I’m changing it.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>You can’t do that, Daph, just get started.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Who says that? You, Zabini? Well it’s not my fault you’re wrong, and I’ll start whenever I want to.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>Daphne Greengrass, entomologist student – Two days before <em>The Evening with Capital E</em></strong>
</p>
<p>I probably was the only one who wasn’t excited to celebrate Halloween. It was a waste of time, money spent of ugly decoration and stupid costumes which made me gag. Don’t get me wrong. I love parties and I’m actually very talkative when I’m not being socially awkward. Thank God there’s always Theo, who is the winner of <em>The Awkward Person of the Century</em>. I sometimes think what my life would be if he weren’t next to me. Pretty boring. And grey.</p>
<p>
  <em>Sweet. Do you mind repeating it when he’s not at the loo?</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>No, thank you.</em>
</p>
<p>Draco was a sweet one. Honestly, he was the best out of us five. He had pure intentions with the Granger girl, and I don’t blame him. She looked nice, as far as I knew her.</p>
<p>And Draco Malfoy was not one to be stopped when talking about his feelings. He really liked Hermione Granger, even though Pansy had told him several times he shouldn’t. I understood what he was going through, really. It’s hard, not to be able to tell someone how you feel because there’s always someone in the way. I know, I should hate her.</p>
<p>
  <em>Yes, you should.</em>
</p>
<p>But the Granger girl was nice to me, at least she had been for the trimester.</p>
<p>We were actually sitting next to each other when I found out about the stupid frat party. Hermione Granger also attended the Biology course I was in, and she was pretty intelligent. I actually asked her to borrow her notes and she talked to me, which had led to a weird friendship. She asked me stuff about bugs, and I kept her informed on the last fashion trends.</p>
<p>
  <em>Sorry to interrupt, but she was obviously not listening to you.</em>
</p>
<p>It was 9:20 am in a cloudy Wednesday morning and I, as usual, was late. I don’t even remember why I was late, but I think it had something to do with Pansy and how she always took forever to get ready. When I entered the class, there were not many places left where I could sit, so I quietly chose to sit next to Hermione Granger. She smiled at me and kept on listening to the professor, Mr. Snape.</p>
<p>“Thank you for letting me take pics of the first 15 minutes” I murmured when the class was over. Hermione Granger just smiled. I frowned and kept on putting my stuff into my designer bag. She was intelligent, and organized, but she was really pretty too, with her dark skin and her enormous brown eyes. Her hair was combed into a tight braid.</p>
<p>“Hey, ‘Mione” a tall, broad-shouldered boy approached us then, waving at Granger. I stood there, my mouth shut, arching an eyebrow. Had that young, fine man always attended this class? He had dark eyes, dark curly hair and was smiling at Granger. It was a beautiful smile, a little gap between his front teeth.</p>
<p>“Hey! Gods, Neville, I’m so sorry, I can’t come around for lunch today. See, there’s this project…”. I rolled my eyes as she stumbled over her own words. “…Anyway, I promise you next Wednesday I’ll make it” she breathed, to which Neville Longbottom, now I remembered his name, just smiled again, nodding.</p>
<p>“Don’t worry about it, ‘Mione. Actually, I was just wondering if you’re coming to the party on Friday”. Oh, that interested me. I eyed Longbottom, crossing my arms. He noticed me and gave me a weak smile. “Hi, Greengrass”.</p>
<p>
  <em>So, he knew your name, interesting.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Oh, it gets more interesting than that, Draco. Not everything revolves around you and Granger-Danger.</em>
</p>
<p>“Oh” Granger just said. I rolled my eyes, again. Of course, we all knew his fraternity was organizing the Halloween party, like they’d done for the last two years.</p>
<p>“Ron just told me” Neville insisted, and I could feel Granger tense, which made me think about two things. First of all, maybe there was trouble in that weird paradise Granger and his antiesthetic loser-boyfriend. That made me incredibly happy because, as I like to recall, I’m the only one of us who is always genuinely happy for everyone, and that might be the opportunity for Draco to step up.</p>
<p>Second of all, I had not been invited. I swore I could kill Blaise for having had that weird ephemeral relationship with the Potter boy. All of a sudden, who knows why, I really wanted to go. It had nothing to do with Longbottom and his all-male friends.</p>
<p>
  <em>Did you just…?</em>
</p>
<p>“I might go” she said. “Just tell Ron not to speak on my behalf again, it drives me mad” she added, frowning. Longbottom shrugged. My mind started clapping. I just couldn’t wait to tell Pansy.</p>
<p>“What about you, Greengrass?” Longbottom suddenly asked me. I arched an eyebrow at him. He had never in his life talked to me. I knew who he was, of course. He was friends with Potter, and Weasley, and all those frat boys I, personally, didn’t want to speak with in my life.</p>
<p>But he was fine as hell.</p>
<p>I asked myself when was the last time Pansy had had a good time. Probably before she was reborn in her actual body.</p>
<p>
  <em>What’s wrong with you?</em>
</p>
<p>“I’m not sure” I admitted, then. It was something I’d been taught since we were kids. I’m sorry, my sister is Astoria Greengrass, the spoiled brat who could always get what she wanted. I had some tricks I’d learned over the years. Denying something so that people could insist on you doing it was one of them.</p>
<p>I pulled my best <em>sad-confused-frustrated</em>, SCF face.</p>
<p>“Oh, you should totally come” Hermione said, to which Longbottom nodded.</p>
<p>“For sure. Everyone’s invited” he added. I rolled my eyes and took my purse.</p>
<p>“Even Blaise Zabini and his friends?” I replied, blinking repeatedly. Longbottom blushed furiously in a way I, personally, found adorable. Granger seemed as uncomfortable as him, so I just waved them and reached for the exit.</p>
<p>“Wait! Greengrass! Of course, you can come. We can all be civil, I’m sure” Longbottom began, his voice trembling. I shook my head.</p>
<p>“Look, I know it’s really inappropriate, so it’s better if we don’t push it, don’t you think, Granger?” I replied, maybe too fast.</p>
<p>Granger shook her head.</p>
<p>“I have no say in this…”</p>
<p>“You know Harry better than anyone here” Longbottom insisted. “I’m sure it will be okay”. I smiled as Granger bit her bottom lip.</p>
<p>“I’ll think about it” I murmured. Granger walked to the exit by my side, in an uncomfortable silence. I mean, everybody knew about Potter and Blaise’s history. They had been buddies, then the attraction had begun, then Blaise had lost his head over him and everything had gone to shit when my stupid friend had admitted his feelings. Potter had… how do you say it? Oh, right, he had <em>ghosted </em>him, like the youngsters say.</p>
<p>
  <em>You’re 21. You can’t talk about youngsters like you’re not one of them.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>It’s looks fancier this way, Theodore.</em>
</p>
<p>Potter had begun avoiding Blaise in every possible way.</p>
<p>And Blaise had begun his <em>I’m-completely-over-him-I’m-not-wasting-my-time-on-Potter </em>façade.</p>
<p>“You don’t have to come if you don’t feel like it, but it would be nice to see you around” she said as we went outside. It was a cold morning, but Granger was still wearing one of those horrendous summer dresses. Her hair reflected some rays of sunshine, amber and golden. I snorted. She was pretty. There was no denying that.</p>
<p>“I’m not sure Weasley would like to see us” I replied, smiling. She rolled her eyes. Oh, God, I couldn’t wait to tell Draco. “Something wrong?”</p>
<p>“Oh, no. Ron is just the definition of <em>not-behaving-properly</em>. It drives me mad” she murmured. “He’s just so… unkind when it comes to people he doesn’t like”</p>
<p>“Don’t worry, Granger. We all know your boyfriend doesn’t like us” I laughed.</p>
<p>“I’m so sorry”</p>
<p>“Come on. You did nothing wrong” I replied, sitting on top of the staircase. I didn’t have my next class until the afternoon. She crossed her arms over her chest.</p>
<p>“It’s just. God, it’s not that hard to be civil, like Neville said”</p>
<p>“Say that to Potter” I replied, to which she laughed.</p>
<p>“I’m serious. You’re so nice, all the time, even though I’m sure you don’t really like my friends” she joked. I didn’t, to be honest. I tolerated them. Potter was a weird hero-wannabe and his lack of education was just terrible. I tend to like everyone, but Potter was just weird. He was not the smartest. He was studying something related to education, but he wanted to be a police-man when he was of age. He was an orphan, which could explain his rudeness, and the fact I know so much about him also explains Blaise’s obsession.</p>
<p>Ron Weasley was another weirdo, I mean, it’s well known that red-heads are the spawn of the devil. His hair was just apprehensive.</p>
<p>
  <em>You do know Theo is kind of red-headed, don’t you?</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>He’s not ginger.</em>
</p>
<p>Weasley had like fifty brothers, all of them equally ginger and equally hard to look at. I had to put up with the oldest, also the weirdest, for 2 months and a half while Pansy was fucking his brains out and it was awkward. He was boring as hell, apart from ginger, which was already bad enough. But he was so boring the only conclusion I could come up with as to why Pansy kept shagging him had to do with the size of his… well, never mind.</p>
<p>
  <em>I told you not to tell anybody! And he’s not the oldest, he’s actually 5 years older than us.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Fucking Hell, Pans, never knew there was a ginger-lover in you.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Shut up, Zabini.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Percival Weasley is the anti-Christ, at least. I mean, have you seen those glasses? Are you into glasses, Pansy? You should have told me before I had my eye surgery.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Draco Malfoy, I will kill you right now if you keep on talking.</em>
</p>
<p>I could only come up with the same conclusion for Ron Weasley, because, I mean, Granger was cute, and Weasley was not. He was clumsy and unorganized and I had once seen him drinking coke right from the can, which is, as we already know, unhygienic.</p>
<p>I didn’t like Ron Weasley, basically, because he was ginger and was dating Hermione Granger.</p>
<p>Neville Longbottom was nice. I had not talked to him very much, but he was nice.</p>
<p>Dean Thomas, irrelevant.</p>
<p>Seamus Finnigan, I don’t even know why I know his name. I couldn’t really recall his face.</p>
<p>Draco Malfoy. Oh, right, Malfoy was part of Granger’s inner circle. He was more an extension of her circle of friends, because he didn’t talk to those weirdos, just Granger. So that was nice, for the moment. Granger had awful friends.</p>
<p>“In my defense, I’ll state that I really like Draco, and he’s your friend”</p>
<p>She blushed.</p>
<p>
  <em>Oh.</em>
</p>
<p>Then she began to talk, at the point of crying.</p>
<p>“Greengrass, I really don’t want to get into a relati…” she was stumbling over her words. I frowned. I mean, what was she talking about? “I thought you were just friends, but, well, I also saw some pictures and I never asked and I really like spending time with him but…”</p>
<p>Oh. I knew what was happening. I smiled at her.</p>
<p>“I think you’re talking about my infuriating little sister, who refuses to delete those pictures of Drake and her”. Granger blushed again. I laughed. That was amazing. “I love Malfoy, but we will never be something more. It would be awkward and wrong” I joked.</p>
<p>“I’m so sorry. This is really embarrassing. Draco’s always talking about you and Parkinson, and your group and… I just assumed…”</p>
<p>“It was a joke, Granger, relax” I laughed again. “He’s single now, FYI” I added.</p>
<p>“I’m with Ron” Granger whispered at me, after a couple of minutes just looking at me. She shook her head. I shrugged, getting up.</p>
<p>“I’m not saying anything. Just… Don’t break his heart” I said, waving goodbye.</p>
<p>
  <em>Spoiler. She did.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>I’m getting tired of your spoilers, Pansy.</em>
</p>
<p>5 hours later, sitting on the couch of our apartment with my bare feet on the table and <em>Big Brother </em>on the TV, I shared with Theo and Blaise my thoughts.</p>
<p>“We have to go” Blaise said, sitting next to me, his long, muscled runner legs on mine I grunted. It was a bad idea, honestly. I hated Halloween.</p>
<p>“Where’s Draco? He has a say on this, too” Theo replied, from the kitchen. The flat, in theory, was Pansy’s. I paid rigorously each month, and Blaise just kind of spent almost half the week on that couch.</p>
<p>“He’s with his dad” I replied. “Look, Granger is nice, Longbottom too”. Theo huffed and I frowned. “What now? They really are”</p>
<p>“They look at you like they want to strangle you with your <em>cachemire</em> scarf” Theo replied, organizing the spices drawer. He was always like that. He came into our home, began organizing everything, saying nothing. We didn’t complain, of course. I rolled my eyes at the comment.</p>
<p>What was wrong with him?</p>
<p>“Excuse you, but just because you’re an antisocial prat doesn’t mean we all have to be” I snarled back, focusing on the TV. Blaise snorted.</p>
<p>“Nice one, Daph. Plus 10 points”</p>
<p>“Shut up. What’s up with him?” I murmured. Theo didn’t answer, and neither did Blaise, who just scrolled through his Instagram feed.</p>
<p>
  <em>I knew what was wrong with him, but, as usual, you didn’t want to listen to me.</em>
</p>
<p>“Anyway, I don’t want to get a costume, but I’ll look for something tomorrow after class. Will you come with me?” I asked Blaise, smiling innocently.</p>
<p>“Are you asking me because I’m gay?”</p>
<p>“Have you even asked Pansy” Theo yelled from the backyard, at the same time. I huffed, grabbing my phone. Draco would love to come, of course.</p>
<p>“She will never agree. She thinks they are all losers” I murmured. Blaise shook his head.</p>
<p>“I’ll convince her. I’ll also convince Theodore”</p>
<p>“You really want to go”</p>
<p>“Of course. It’s my opportunity to get Draco a real girlfriend”</p>
<p>“She’s still with Weasley, and what I just told you is based on my own assumptions, you know, it’s not proven” I whispered. He smiled at me, mischievous. I had committed a terrible mistake telling Blaise.</p>
<p>
  <em>Yes, you did. Look at us now. it’s his fault, and now you have to share the guilt with him.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Bollocks, Theodore. You are to blame, too.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>I think everyone should share the guilt.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>No, Blaise. I didn’t do anything.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Of course, you didn’t, Parkinson.</em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Theo Nott</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Blaise checked the time, again. I was already moving around the condo like a lost dog. I did feel lost. I didn’t know why I had agreed to this. I hate parties. I had thought this was for Draco’s well-being, but I wasn’t sure anymore. He looked nervous; pale, even.<br/>“Relax” Blaise growled. I didn’t know if it was aimed at me or Draco.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hello back! Sorry for the delay, quarantine home-work and all that.<br/>Hope you enjoy my fluffly boy's chapter!<br/>Do I have a sweet spot for Theo Nott? Yes, yes I do.  WARNING: This chapters slightly deals with mentions of anxiety and anxiety attacks.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>Theodore – The worst evening of my life </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>You’re going to confuse our readers, you idiot. Let me do the title</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>Theodore Nott, jackass – A month after <em>The Day with capital D</em></strong>
</p><p>
  <em>I don’t want to do this. It was a mistake, I get it.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Start. Now.</em>
</p><p>Apparently, Blaise and I had done a terrible mistake by organizing that party in order to cheer Malfoy up. That’s why I don’t usually get involved in those dramas. I don’t like parties; I don’t socialize and I didn’t want to attend that stupid party that was doomed since the beginning. The problem was that we didn’t know that it was going to be a disaster yet.</p><p>Daphne had helped, relatively, so it had been bearable, but Pansy had said she didn’t want anything to do with that. It should have been a warning, but, as usual, Blaise didn’t listen and we were all dragged to that stupid party in late November. It was too cold to have a party at our condo, but, again, we didn’t pay attention to all those signals.</p><p>Blaise was rearranging the snacks for the hundredth time, while Draco rolled his eyes. He was wearing an incredibly expensive white shirt, the nerd. It was asking to be sprinkled with rum. I tapped the floor once, twice, thrice.</p><p>“Okay, that’s it. I’m calling them” I murmured, pulling the phone from my pocket. Blaise was fast enough to get it before I dialed Pansy’s number.</p><p>“Stop already! They’re coming, for fuck’s sake, it’s Pansy we are talking about. She wouldn’t miss a party”</p><p>“What if those people come over before them?”</p><p>“Then we say hello to them” Draco replied, as if it was obvious. I tried to look at him in the worst possible way and he raised his hands. “Don’t even start. It was you who organized this stupid party so you have to <em>suck</em> it”</p><p>I growled. It was stupid. How many times had I already stated that it was <em>stupid</em>? I just wanted to punch someone in the face; Blaise, preferably.</p><p>“Okay, first of all, Pansy knew it was messed up. Maybe this is her making a point” Draco suggested, after a while. Blaise was already drinking his first glass of rum.</p><p>“What about Daph? She never skips a party, not when this one” Blaise pointed at me with a long finger. “is involved”</p><p>I snorted. Daphne and I weren’t in our best terms. We weren’t in any term, to be precise. We had been civil, but something had been broken after that disastrous Halloween night, not only Draco’s heart.</p><p>
  <em>Seriously. UNCALLED FOR. Stop it with my heart.</em>
</p><p>I guess I had to thank Neville Longbottom for that. I suddenly realized it was him I’d rather punch in the face, right between those bushy eyebrows; not Blaise.</p><p>
  <em>Well, thank you, man.</em>
</p><p>I did not want to think of Daphne, not after having tried to avoid being next to her for the last month. I didn’t even know if she had noticed, if she even cared. Whatever. She could do whatever she wanted, and I was not to be hurt because I did not have feelings. Not for her, at least.</p><p>
  <em>If you take your feelings for Daph out of you, there’s literally no difference between you and a cactus, you know that, right?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Shut up, Parkinson</em>
</p><p>I swore for the tenth time.</p><p>“You’re making me nervous” Draco spat.</p><p>“Fuck you”</p><p>“Oh, are we on that time of the month?” Blaise snarled. Draco and I looked at him, squinting our eyes. It was Draco who spoke.</p><p>“You know that, regardless of your gayness, that was sexist” he said, really slowly, as if Blaise was a kid. He rolled his eyes and took a sip of his iced rum. I was pretty sure there was no coke in that glass.</p><p>“Yeah, sorry. Just don’t tell Pansy. She’ll kick me out”</p><p>
  <em>I’ve been trying to kick you out for months.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>You’ve never succeeded, though.</em>
</p><p>Blaise checked the time, again. I was already moving around the condo like a lost dog. I did feel lost. I didn’t know why I had agreed to this. I hate parties. I had thought this was for Drake’s well-being, but I wasn’t sure anymore. He looked nervous; pale, even.</p><p>“Relax” Blaise growled. I didn’t know if it was aimed at me or at Draco. Blaise just shrugged and closed his eyes. “Pansy just texted me. There’s so much traffic, it’ll take them longer to come”. Draco swore.</p><p>“Is Pansy driving? Fuck’s sake, you know she’s terrible at it” he began, changing his <em>I hate you both</em> face for his <em>Okay if something happens to Pansy, I’m dead </em>one. Blaise snorted and showed us the conversation.</p><p>There were a lot of texts, to be honest. Too many for Pansy to be driving. We all knew she excelled at everything, but driving. It didn’t stop her, to be honest. Having a private chauffer and all that helped with her absolutely lack of coordination on wheels.</p><p>
  <em>Are we seriously discussing my driving? Again? I passed the test, you idiot</em>
</p><p>
  <em>We know you passed, what we don’t know is why</em>
</p><p>I took Blaise’s phone and squinted my eyes.</p><p>“Seriously, you wear CK underwear” I murmured. “Fix your screen. I can barely see!”</p><p>“Well wear glasses, old man!”. Draco just smiled and I rolled my eyes.</p><p>
  <strong>Persephone Queen of Hell [11/30 at 20:02]: Every moron in this bloody city has decided to take the car</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Persephone Queen of Hell [11/30 at 20:02]: Tonight, of all days</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Persephone Queen of Hell [11/30 at 20:02]: Fuck them all</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Persephone Queen of Hell [11/30 at 20:04]: Anyway</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Persephone Queen of Hell [11/30 at 20:04]: keep drake out of the alcohol until I get there</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Me [11/30 at 20:06]: tell me u arnt driving i don’t wanna go to the hospital</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Persephone Queen of Hell [11/30 at 20:07]: fuck you too</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Persephone Queen of Hell [11/30 at 20:10]: no daph is</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Persephone Queen of Hell [11/30 at 20:11]: I could be a uber driver you know</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Me [11/30 at 20:12]: yes you could, doesn’t mean you’d be a good one</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Persephone Queen of Hell [11/30 at 20:15]: Whatever when we get there, you’ll know</strong>
</p><p>Draco groaned.</p><p>“They’ll never get here. We all know Daphne takes forever when driving”</p><p>I felt weird. Furious, mad, maybe? Daphne never took the car. Actually, both girls were like that. They hated driving, which could sound like a stereotype because they’re girls, but it was the truth. They could have just asked any of us and we’d pick them up from their apartment. They didn’t live that far.</p><p>How were they going to go back?</p><p>They could sleep here, of course, but whenever I thought of Daphne sleeping at my place my hands sweated.</p><p>
  <em>Gosh, you really are admitting stuff, now of all moments.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It’s not like that</em>
</p><p>Blaise was arguing with Draco about Pansy’s terrible tendency to send 50 texts when she could easily just send one, a vice he and Drake shared and they were proud to admit. To be honest, I was still thinking of Pansy and Daphne, in a car, stucj in the traffic. Were they taking Daphne’s Mini Coupé?</p><p>
  <em>Can someone call Daph so she can kill him for good?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He has a point. You’re a danger on four wheels</em>
</p><p>
  <em>You’re a danger on foot how does that sound, Malfoy?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Like the truth</em>
</p><p>I checked my phone. 20:35. No texts from Pansy, no texts from Daphne. Whatever. I threw it on my bed and locked the door of my room. I didn’t care. I couldn’t care. I took a decision. I <em>had </em>to have fun. Draco had already prepared a gin-tonic for me, which I drank in under 5 minutes. Blaise whistled.</p><p>Maybe alcohol was not what the three of us needed, but this was for Draco, I reminded myself. He had to get over that Granger girl.</p><p>“Let’s do shots” I said, then. Blaise frowned, but didn’t say a word as he looked for the little plastic glasses. I was sure if Granger was there, she would have complained.</p><p>“Wow, Nott, you’re wild tonight” Draco joked. I took the tequila bottle and opened it with my mouth.</p><p>“Hey, getting drunk is Blaise’s solution for dealing with Potter, so why not yours too?” I asked. Draco opened his eyes and just laughed. He hadn’t laughed like that in a month. Then he poured 12shots of tequila and offered me one, then another, then another one.</p><p>“Wise words there, Nott” Blaise said, cheering us. Draco smirked.</p><p>“Theo, for once I’m taking Blaise’s advice”. I didn’t know why I had taken that decision, but you know what. Whatever. half a bottle of tequila was already empty when I realized nobody had come yet.</p><p>Then someone knocked on our door, and Hell set loose.</p><p>
  <em>You really are a dramatic poetic bitch.</em>
</p><p>“Welcome you all!” Blaise greeted everyone, with open arms, and just like that, the party began. Draco stood still for a moment. I pushed him forward, towards his study group. Blaise had insisted we should have them invited, even though Granger was part of that group.</p><p>She was missing, though. Good. At least she had some decency in her. People began coming. I could see Potter and Weasley and their frat group smiling at me, and I didn’t know if it was the tequila talking, or maybe the gin. Could it be that awful weird pink drink Blaise had assured would make me stop stuttering when talking to a girl?</p><p>Anyway, I ended up playing beer-pong with Weasley, Thomas and that weird quiet one whose name I didn’t really know.</p><p>
  <em>Finnigan</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Oh, that. Thanks.</em>
</p><p>Longbottom joined us, then. I looked at him. He was nice-looking. Of course, he was. He was saying hello to me as if he knew me from forever, when we had just talked at Halloween. I frowned at him. Then relaxed. Then hugged him and told him to have a couple of shots with me.</p><p>Again, I was so sure the party had been a mistake I didn’t even care what happened. Harry Potter was sloppily kissing a random dude I had never seen and Draco was friendly talking with a dark-haired girl. I smiled lazily. Cho Chang, I knew her. She was not bad. I looked around, after a while. Blaise was nowhere to be seen, people were dancing and drinking and screaming.</p><p>Then I suddenly felt like I didn’t fit in. I didn’t, in fact.</p><p>This was all wrong.</p><p>I was not supposed to be here.</p><p>My inner thoughts usually appeared in the worst moments, yelling me to leave, to run away from all the music, all the noise. All those people who had decided I was nice enough to be talking to me.</p><p>Maybe I had had too much gin, or maybe it was my heart, which was yelling me not to look for Daphne all around the place.</p><p>She hadn’t come. Draco was going to be mad. I was already mad. Anyway, at that moment I found it incredibly amusing to go to the balcony, expecting to be alone. It was packed, as usual. Too many people.</p><p>Too much.</p><p>It was all too much. I could barely think straight. I went upstairs, breathing heavily. It was the alcohol, of course. Combined with my usual social anxiety which I didn’t really want to talk about.</p><p>
  <em>Because you’re a jerk who doesn’t like to be helped</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Okay, Pans, enough</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Shut up, Blaise</em>
</p><p>Had I lost my key? I checked all my pockets. Fuck. Fuck, fuck. Fuck! I needed to be alone, I needed to be quiet. I needed… what was it?</p><p>I didn’t know when I had slipped onto the ground, but I stood there, eyes closed, for what it felt like forever. A couple of small hands were on my back, after a while, trying to make it to my face.</p><p>“Breathe, just breathe”</p><p>I couldn’t really face anyone at that moment. I didn’t trust anyone, actually. But I was curious, and drunk, so I looked at the small person who was crouching next to me, in the middle of the hallway.</p><p>“Sh, you’re okay, come on Nott.”</p><p>“Granger?”. Of course, it had to be her. She looked like hell, to be honest. It wasn’t that she was ugly. She wasn’t. She was pretty enough to have Draco wrapped around her little finger, but she had dark eye-bags. It was November. There were no exams coming up, there was no point to be looking that… tired.</p><p>“What are you doing here?” I whispered. She was wearing ugly sweat-pants and a long T-shirt, her wild her into a bun on the top of her head.</p><p>“I… Well, you were definitely having an anxiety attack and I just…”</p><p>I arched an eyebrow. She was stammering. Good. She deserved to be nervous. But she had helped me, to be honest. A lot. I still felt kind of drunk, but that heaviness on my chest was slowly disappearing.</p><p>“Thank you”</p><p>“Oh, no problem. You know, I took a first aid course last summer, so I’m glad to know it was helpful…”</p><p>“What are you doing at my place?” I asked. She looked away, sitting across from me.</p><p>“I… I don’t know? I wanted to talk to Draco, you know, because I felt like shit”</p><p>“You were a bitch to him” I accused. She frowned.</p><p>“I guess I was. Then I saw there was this monumental party going on and no one was going to notice if I slipped in and looked for him…”</p><p>“I’m going to be honest with you, Granger. I should just kick you out and never tell Draco you came” I began. She looked like she was about to cry. “Why are you here?”</p><p>“Truly? I don’t know. I wanted to fix this…” she was gesturing a lot. “this thing we both had”</p><p>“Kind of late, are you”</p><p>I screamed at myself to relax. Gosh, I was being too harsh.</p><p>“I’m sorry, okay? I’ve thought a lot about it, you know. I don’t know why I’m trying to explain myself to you!” she accused me, pointing at me. I shrugged.</p><p>“I’m his best mate. I put up with him for a month. He’s been miserable lately” I shot at her. She blushed.</p><p>“Well, he doesn’t look miserable right now” she shot back. I barked a laugh.</p><p>“Are you the jealous type, Granger? Never took you for one, since you’re the one who has been fooling around with Draco for months while Weasley praised about your perfect relationship”</p><p>“You’re a real jerk”</p><p>“I am” I admitted. “But I fight for my friends, you know. I don’t know if that makes me more of an idiot, actually”</p><p>“I came to fight for him!”</p><p>“Oh, should we ask Weasley what he thinks about this whole situation?” I asked. “He’s downstairs, you know”</p><p>“I broke up with Ron almost three weeks ago!” she admitted, almost shouting.</p><p>“Oh”.</p><p>
  <em>Oh.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Oh.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Oh!</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Don’t act all that surprised, fuck.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>You didn’t tell us, you liar!</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It was not our business, Blaise!</em>
</p><p>“I just thought Draco didn’t want to see me and, I mean, I didn’t feel like I deserved it”. She squinted her eyes and pointed at my neck. “Hey, why are you carrying a real key on a chain?”</p><p>And, again, Granger had outsmarted me. I swore, getting up, taking the fucking key I had been looking for and unlocking my room door. Granger just stood there, not entering. I breathed heavily. Maybe it was because I was still drunk, but I turned to her.</p><p>“Okay, let’s say I believe you. What are your intentions with him?”. She blushed, crossing her arms on her chest, looking around.</p><p>“I don’t know. it’s been really confusing, you know. I’ve been dating Ron for years, and when we broke up, I just felt… relieved. It had not been right for a long time, even before I knew Draco. He took it stoically, actually, I’m so proud of him. I just don’t know what to do because I don’t want to break his heart, you know. He might hate me”</p><p>“He doesn’t” I said, looking for my phone. Where had I let it? I had to note all my symptoms so that I could talk to Dr. McGonagall at my next appointment. “I mean, we’ve tried. Honestly, it’s been exhausting”</p><p>“Oh?”. Fuck, where was my phone?</p><p>“He doesn’t. He’s mad about you, which is exasperating. Maybe tonight is not the best scenario to talk to him, but… Found it!”. 22:14.</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>14 Missed calls</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>24 New messages</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>2 Voice Mails</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>I must have looked shocked, because Granger was next to me in under a second.</p><p>“Eveything okay?”. I hadn’t noticed my hand was trembling. I couldn’t even unlock my phone. Granger had had to use my finger, while still telling me to breathe. I was not able to move. “Oh, fuck” I heard her say.</p><p>“Yeah. Fuck indeed”</p><p>“Do you need me to…?” I didn’t let her finish her sentence. I just grabbed my wallet and went downstairs, Granger trying to follow my pace. The music was so loud it felt as if I was in the middle of a dream. I found Blaise almost crying, screaming at Harry Potter, as usual, but I didn’t care. I took his arm and pulled, already looking for Draco.</p><p>“Eh, you jerk! Oh, hello, Granger. You look terrible! See, Potter? I can also be an asshole to your friends!!”</p><p>“Shut up, Zabini!”</p><p>“Where the fuck is Draco?” I growled. Blaise just shrugged and pointed at the kitchen counter. He was looking at the fridge, completely drunk. Granger paled.</p><p>“I don’t think…” she began. I shushed her.</p><p>“Stay here. Draco! Come here”. He didn’t even look back at us, the drunk idiot.</p><p>“I don’t wanna”</p><p>“Seriously, Theo, what the fuck? I was in the middle of an incredible speech. You know, Granger, your best friend here just… Wait, I shouldn’t be talking to you, should I, Theo?”</p><p>“Can you please shut up? Draco, take your fucking coat, we’re leaving”. Granger bit her lip.</p><p>“Yeah it’s my party and I’m deciding what I’m having for dinner”</p><p>“The fridge is closed, man” Blaise laughed.</p><p>
  <em>Wow, we really are idiots when drunk</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Are you realizing this just now? I pity Granger.</em>
</p><p>“What’s gotten into you, anyway? I haven’t seen you for hours…”</p><p>“We’re leaving for the hospital” I interrupted Blaise. “They got into an accident” I finally admitted. There was no need to say names, we all knew who I was talking about.</p><p>“Oh shit”.</p><p>
  <em>Did I sound that dramatic?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Theo, everything about you is dramatic.</em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Pansy Parkinson</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>“From one manipulative bitch to another” I added. “You’d better fix your bloody life. I’m ready to accept you, but don’t even think of dragging Draco into the mess of a life you have. I’m serious, Granger”</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>Mrs. Pansy Parkinson – Later at night on <em>The Day with Capital D</em></strong>
</p><p>It is said that with great beauty comes great responsibility, and I had sworn to live by that saying until the end of my days. What had happened that night, I still didn’t know.</p><p>
  <em>That’s the classiest beginning of a narration I’ve ever heard.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Inspiring, truly inspiring.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I still don’t know what does it have to do with my story.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Not everything is about you, Malfoy. Let her have her moment.</em>
</p><p>It was really late, to be honest. I didn’t really spend that much time at parties because it would confuse people into thinking I was actually approachable.</p><p>I mean, is there something more satisfying than spending three hours smiling at boys, then looking extremely bored and leaving?</p><p>
  <em>I, Blaise Zabini, swear I’ll forever aspire to your level of self-esteem</em>
</p><p>Gosh, it was so gratifying, to see the looks on their faces as I made my exit, wondering what they’d done wrong, how they could stop me and fix whatever they’d messed up. I was the queen of great exits, and nobody dared complain. Daphne was too fond of quick ones, without anyone noticing, but Daphne was a fool. I loved every moment of making all those people feel guilty enough to wonder for days what it was that I had found so upsetting as to leave early.</p><p>However, as I had already said, that night I did not know what had gotten into me. I’m a British lady, I have my expectations not only at life but also at everything. I knew what I was going to work at, where I was going to live, what I was going to wear to Daph and Theodore’s wedding.</p><p>
  <em>Seriously?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Affirmative, she showed me. It was red. Glorious.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Stop drooling, Malfoy</em>
</p><p>Why I was there, at that precise party, I still didn’t know. I don’t like frat boys. I absolutely hate Harry Potter and anyone related to him. Specially Hermione Granger. Gosh, I would gladly burn her hair if someone let me a lighter.</p><p>
  <em>That’s why we don’t want you smoking.</em>
</p><p>However, that night I had surprisingly decided I really liked cheap vodka. So, there I was, deep into a real problem, as I checked my make-up was still on point while Daphne stared at me, arms crossed over her little cute cat-woman costume. She was utterly adorable, I loved her to infinity and beyond, but I definitely didn’t like her staring-judging me.</p><p>“What” I spat. She just scoffed. “Daphne, seriously, it was nothing. You’re not my mom”</p><p>“Yeah, your mom would be dragging your ass all across Europe if she found out you’ve been” she lowered her voice to a whisper. “Snogging an enemy of the crown at a frat party. Where are your manners?”</p><p>I rolled my eyes. As usual, I looked nice, even drunk. That bathroom was terrifyingly small. However, the big one, as I had been shown, was locked as someone did profanities inside. I had heard them. Gross. What was wrong with couples that they had to choose a bloody bathroom to shag?</p><p>“What if it hadn’t been me who just caught you, eh?”</p><p>“What? Daphne, should I remind you about the time you slept with Professor Lockhart?” I snarled. She blushed, furiously. “I thought so”</p><p>“You’re a real bitch, Pansy Parkinson. I meant it! Tomorrow you’re going to regret it because you’ll be all like <em>I’m a goddess and I like being looked at like an impossible dream, what got into me?</em> And I’ll remind you of this exact moment when you didn’t listen to me<em>” </em>she bit back, her blonde, curly hair already a mess.</p><p>She did have a point, if I was honest with myself. I rolled my eyes and pointed at her.</p><p>“You’re lucky you’re the cute one” I said. She made a face. She already knew what I meant. I did not stand anyone talking at me that way. Not my mother, not Draco, not Theo. <em>Definitely </em>not Blaise.</p><p>When I stepped outside of the little bathroom, as I already expected, Neville Longbottom was waiting, hands in the back pockets of his trousers, his oversized shirt open and his sleeves rolled up to the elbows. His hair was tousled, my fault, and his lips a bit too reddish and swollen. My fault, too.</p><p>I smiled. I didn’t know if it was the vodka thinking for me, or if I really liked him, but I bloody smiled at him like a teenager. A thought of him and me, curled up into each other watching a horror movie at my place crossed my mind and I felt my heart skip a beat.</p><p>
  <em>I suddenly feel like an idiot</em>
</p><p>
  <em>You are, Theo.</em>
</p><p>Anyway, not my best choice, but who was judging, anyway? Daphne just rolled her eyes and stared at Longbottom.</p><p>“You have no idea what you’re getting yourself into” she mouthed. I snarled at her, stepping on her foot with my high-heel black sandals.</p><p>“Shut the fuck up” I murmured to her. I was just about to tell Daphne to go look for someone, preferably at least half a mile away from me, when I saw the unmistakable head that belonged to Blaise Zabini approach us.</p><p>I was not ready for more judgment or to face my actions, so, I, like a British lady, panicked.</p><p>
  <em>As if I’d dare to judge you.</em>
</p><p>What were the odds? I really thought he’d be crying over Potter for the rest of the night. I had strategically left our coats next to where he and his idiot friends were sitting. My plans never failed. What the hell?</p><p>Later on, I could admit I was overreacting and nothing would happen if Blaise noticed I had been snogging Neville Longbottom in his room for half the night. However, I didn’t think clearly.</p><p>
  <em>Clearly, you didn’t.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I already said sorry, Daph. Like… 3 times.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>What an achievement.</em>
</p><p>I, Pansy Parkinson, just wanted to have some fun and, of course, it didn’t turn out as I expected to. Daphne hadn’t even noticed Blaise was coming, of course she couldn’t have, being a midget and all that.</p><p>
  <em>Even I, five feet tall, could see you were wrong.</em>
</p><p>I had little time to think, so I just did what I did best. I hid back into the bathroom, after having pushed Daphne outside. I didn’t know what to expect, actually. What was the point of my movements?</p><p>Certainly, I did not expect her to fall gracelessly onto the floor, on top of Longbottom, who had no idea what was going on and just wanted to catch her before she fell. She ended up sitting on top of him with a squeal. I saw everything from the little aperture of the bathroom door. I swore silently. What a couple of clumsy people, those two.</p><p>Daphne apologized, stammering, her face red and her hair all disheveled. She got up quickly, helping Longbottom, who hadn’t said a word yet and just looked at her, her tight costume and her red face as if she was a real freak, still shaking her hand.</p><p>My best movement? Not at all.</p><p>My worst? Not really.</p><p>I, who had seen everything, didn’t even think about the consequences. I mean, Blaise already knew Daphne. There was no point that situation could be misunderstood. Daphne would quickly explain to Blaise that I was a bitch, he would believe her in a second because he was used to my bitchiness. End of the story. Neville would eventually leave the place and my secret would be safe.</p><p>
  <em>You really are optimistic</em>
</p><p>
  <em>No, what happens is that sometimes I forget you’re a bunch of idiots</em>
</p><p>However, I did not expect Blaise to be accompanied by Theo. I rolled my eyes. Daphne, as usual, froze in the place, unable to say a word or to explain herself. Neville Longbottom looked incredibly uncomfortable and the two boys I unluckily happened to consider my best friends just stared between Daphne and Longbottom, unable to form a word.</p><p>“I won’t say I expected this, I did not” Blaise began, slowly. Daphne took a step away from Longbottom and I swore, again. She was smarter than that. I actually expected her to at least defend herself. Theo’s face was a poem, all pale, as id he’d seen a ghost.</p><p>I didn’t blame him. I had lied. The situation could completely be misunderstood.</p><p>
  <em>You know those two have been pining over each other for years</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Yeah, Draco, I happen to live in this planet</em>
</p><p>
  <em>So you’re telling me it’s your fault, too</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Is it my fault they’re stupid enough not to have a real conversation?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Well…</em>
</p><p>
  <em>That’s what I thought.</em>
</p><p>“Anyway, I happened to be looking for Pansy, but you’re good. Good night Longbottom, I’m going to borrow her for a couple of minutes, is it okay with you?” Blaise politely asked, taking Daphne.</p><p>“Blaise, I…” Daphne couldn’t even talk.</p><p>I did feel a bit bad, but I waited for Longbottom to leave my sight. Just when I was sure that there were only three people on the hallway, I opened the door of the bathroom door. If looks would kill, I’d already be dead, thanks to my angel Daphne. I tried not to look at her.</p><p>“Honey, no judgement from me” Blaise was assuring her, his hands on her shoulders. Theo had not said a word. I arched an eyebrow, looking at him. He just shrugged. He was not the most talkative, but I knew something was wrong.</p><p>
  <em>No shit, Sherlock</em>
</p><p>“Let me explain! It really is not…”</p><p>“What happened?” I interrupted her, stepping between the two of them. Blaise coughed and Theo sighed. I squinted my eyes. “Well?”</p><p>Then, all of a sudden, Theodore Nott found his voice.</p><p>“Draco and Granger. For like an hour. Bathroom upstairs, no real proof but his shirt is all stained and, well, it was them. I saw them opening the door together, me and the whole party” he said.</p><p>Wow. That was a real story.</p><p>“Weasley?”</p><p>“Nowhere to be seen right now” Theo answered. Crap.</p><p>Oh, my, that Granger girl was going to end Draco’s life. I swore, biting my nail. Daphne opened her mouth. It was unbelievable. I mean, she was a tease. She had been for months. I had warned Draco, once, twice, fifteen times. I had hoped she could not take it that far. I had to look for her, face her and tell her to step aside.</p><p>“Now that I think about it, you do have a gift” Blaise was telling Theo. I was still thinking of my speech. It had to be me who faced her. They were weak. “I mean, you’ve already witnessed two unexpected couples this night” he laughed.</p><p>Theo did not want to laugh. Daphne would probably just want to die.</p><p>“Okay, where’s Draco?”</p><p>“Uhm… Drunk in love at the pool, I guess” Blaise began. I rolled my eyes.</p><p>“Granger?”</p><p>“Nowhere to be seen” Theo quickly answered, as if he was a soldier answering to the general. “But Blaise here thinks he saw her talking to Weasley, not in a very angry <em>I’m breaking up with you because I just kissed my friend </em>way”</p><p>“You take him home. You” I pointed at Daphne. “come with me. Well, no, don’t. You’re delicate”</p><p>“Wait, shouldn’t we be happy for Draco? I mean, he’s been head over heels for Granger for like, ever” she asked, arching an eyebrow. Blaise and I sighed at the same time, but it was Blaise who patted her head.</p><p>“What a delusional, innocent girl. See? That’s why you shouldn’t talk to Neville Longbottom again. You’re not ready, little one. Hermione Granger has probably cheated on his boyfriend with our Drakey in front of a lot of people. That’s not how things are done around here”</p><p>“I mean, Blaise here is not the one to talk. He’s a stalker and deals poorly with rejection” I intervened. “But he has a point. Hermione Granger, no matter how hard she’s tried to befriend you, is a snake. She’ll crush Draco’s heart, and guess who’ll have to deal with the consequences”</p><p>“Us?”</p><p>
  <em>Really? Were you plotting behind my back?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Pansy was plotting. We were mere aids.</em>
</p><p>I left the three of them and entered the party, looking for Granger. What a fucking bitch. I was the bitch around there. I was the one who never took compromises, the one who hurt boys’ hearts as if they were made of jelly.</p><p>
  <em>Well, Daphne had pulled a real one on our Theo here.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>SHUT UP! Besides, it was also Pansy who’d done it. So, she’s still the heartbreaker.</em>
</p><p>I looked in every open room. So many people, none of them were Granger. I was angry. I was mad. I was feeling a little guilty over the Daphne accident, actually, so maybe I thought that, by helping Draco out, I could… I don’t know. I could somehow fix my conscience.</p><p>
  <em>Do you really have one of those?</em>
</p><p>As soon as I found her, over the garden, I sighed triumphally. I was going to drag her to hell and back. In front of many people, ideally. I smiled. This, this was what I was born to do. Defend and fight for my friends, no matter how.</p><p>I was bracing myself for an amazing walk down the stairs, as gracefully as the vodka let me, lots of people staring at me and longing to be me, with me, or friends with me; when I felt someone pull my hand. I turned around, ready to scream at whoever had dared touch me.</p><p>“Oh” I murmured. Of course, it had to be a confused Neville Longbottom, whit his brown big eyes and his broad shoulders. Gosh, he was a hot one. “Real busy right now, Longbottom”</p><p>“Seriously? What you pulled over there was not nice. At all”. I rolled my eyes, my hands on my hips. I really did not have time for this conversation with him. I was already going to have it with Daphne the next morning.</p><p>He did not care.</p><p>At all.</p><p>“I don’t want to marry you or something like that, but you know what? I’m not ready to be pushed as if I was a leper, you know? If you were that ashamed of me, you should have just told me before you jumped over me!”. I snorted. That was all he had? Was that the maximum level of fury he had in his body? It was almost funny. He was right, of course. However, I did not have the time or the spirit to talk to him.</p><p>“Longbottom, that was really touching”</p><p>“Don’t laugh at me. You’re not a nice person, Pansy Parkinson”. I smirked.</p><p>“So I’ve been told”</p><p>“What were your intentions, anyway? You did hurt my feelings, over there. You’re almost 22, Parkinson. I expected better…”</p><p>“I don’t know if you’ll have noticed, but I don’t care”</p><p>
  <em>Oh my god.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Wow.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Fucking hell, Pans, what’s wrong with you?</em>
</p><p>He said nothing, too shocked, so I turned. I was finally able to go down the stairs, searching for Granger. Had she suddenly disappeared? I smiled widely, when I saw her about to get her coat. She was not going to leave the party without having talked to me.</p><p>“Granger!” I called. She turned back, eyed me, and rolled her eyes, before putting her coat on as quickly as that stupid nut-cracker costume she was wearing let her. I ran towards her and blocked the door with my foot. Caging her.</p><p>“Parkinson” she saluted.</p><p>“A word?”</p><p>“I’d rather not, actually” she shot. I was surprised, but she was not intimidating enough. She could outsmart Malfoy. Daphne, too. Not me.</p><p>“Wow, who knew the good girl could speak back” I smiled, dragging her towards a couch and sitting next to her. She sighed, looking uncomfortable enough for me to be happy. That was my plan all along.</p><p>“I think we should become closer, now that you’ll probably spend more and more time with us, don’t you think?” I carefully whispered. She shot me a look.</p><p>“Whatever you saw upstairs…”</p><p>“Do you even know who I am?” I began. She huffed.</p><p>“Draco’s ex? I seriously don’t have the time to argue with you about what I do and what I don’t. I know you’re the president of the Feminist Club at college, so this whole” she pointed between the two of us, while crossing her legs. “situation is really hypocrite of you. Draco’s not your boyfriend anymore, he can do whatever he wants and…”</p><p>I hadn’t intended to, but I laughed.</p><p>“You are one of a kind, Granger. No, Draco and I never actually dated. He’s actually my best friend. And he’s been crazy about you for months, waiting patiently for you to actually make a move”</p><p>“That’s not true”</p><p>“You’ll know, I’m not in the mood for arguing with you.”</p><p>“What the fuck are you here then, for?” she spat. I smiled.</p><p>“Oh, she has claws. Fix your bloody life, Granger. I don’t want you splashing Draco with your mess. Break up with Weasley, do whatever you have to do but don’t you dare use <em>my</em> friend for your own benefits. I warn you”</p><p>“You have no idea what you’re talking about….”</p><p>“Are you confused? Was it a call for attention? Are you really ready to break up with that bore of a boyfriend you have? I don’t care about your problems, Granger, but you either fix your life and come up straight-forward to Draco, or you don’t come near him at all”</p><p>“How dare you?”. She was getting mad. I didn’t care. I was furious. I was guilty, I was ashamed of myself, thinking of Daphne, Theo, even Blaise. I was not ready to have Draco messed up, too. This was what I was god at. Protecting them. “Parkinson, maybe you should ask your friend Malfoy…”</p><p>Oh, that was it. I’d had enough.</p><p>“Draco Malfoy” I snarled “has real feelings for you, Granger. Pure, innocent, upsettingly sweet intentions with you. But he’s a gentleman, so don’t even dare say it was him who started all that lovingly kissing session you had up there”</p><p>She paled.</p><p>“From one manipulative bitch to another” I added. “You’d better fix your bloody life. I’m ready to accept you, but don’t even think of dragging Draco into the mess of a life you have. I’m serious, Granger”</p><p>I stood up, fixed my hair and looked one last time at her. Granger was still shocked. I did not care. That was what I did. I scared people.</p><p>That’s why Longbottom was better off without me, no matter how great it had felt to kiss him, to speak with him.</p><p>I sighed and left the party as discreetly as I could. It wasn’t worth it, to be seen. All of a sudden it was incredibly upsetting to even think of leaving the party and having him look at me. Somehow, whenever I thought of him, something stung.</p><p>Whatever. He was not my friend. Draco was.</p><p>
  <em>Oh, Pans. Was that a crush?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Shut up, Blaise.</em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Draco Malfoy</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>“I’m really sorry, Draco…” she began in a whisper. I actually hated it when Granger whispered. She was meant to scream, to yell her thoughts because she had so many good ideas the whole world had to hear. Granger was supposed to be heard, to be listened, to be obeyed. She was so bloody intelligent it sometimes shocked me. Hearing her in an almost inaudible whisper made me want to punch the wall. I hated it. I wanted the whole conversation to stop.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Last chapter, everybody!!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>Draco Malfoy – Later at night, a month after <em>The Day with Capital D</em></strong>
</p><p>There we were. Three drunk boys, almost three in the morning, sitting in the white waiting room of the hospital. It was empty, thank god, so Blaise was just laying as big as he was onto three seats, his head on Theo’s lap, whistling. My drunk self was irremediably leaving and a terrible hangover was taking over my head.</p><p>Everything smelled like Granger. She had just left for coffee for us all, after having been told like a thousand times that she didn’t have to stay. Blaise had tried to tell her to fuck off, Theo had tried to send her home on an Uber. I had just tried to ignore her. It was utterly impossible. It’d been a month since I had kissed her and I could still dream with her lips on mine.</p><p>
  <em>Gross. Just tell the story, man.</em>
</p><p>I meant it, when I had said I wanted to just have fun that night. Of course, Granger had to appear out of nowhere, looking like she’d just woken up from a three-month nap. Beautiful. It was not fair. The whole drive there I had been silent, just listening to Theo’s voicemails. I checked my phone again. 10 missed calls from Pansy, 30 messages. Gosh, why hadn’t I checked earlier? I sighed, for the tenth time in that minute, and threw the phone onto the chair next to mine, with a crack.</p><p>“Leave it” Theo snarled. “You couldn’t have done anything, even if you’d had answered their calls”</p><p>“Well, we would have been here much earlier”</p><p>“We would have had to wait longer, man. That’s it. We came when we could” Blaise answered. I already knew it wasn’t my fault. Still, I felt incredibly guilty.</p><p>I hardly remember our way to the hospital, to be honest. It had been Granger who had asked for the girls and it was her who’d been given the information that they were being attended at the moment. No visits. No more fucking information. Were they stable? Were they unconscious? It didn’t matter I was Pansy’s emergency contact. Neither did it matter that Theo was, surprisingly for all of us, Daphne’s. He’d been the most shocked of us. Even Granger had frowned.</p><p>Still, it was not enough. The alcohol was slowly leaving my mind and everything hurt.</p><p>“Fuck!” Theo growled. I bit my bottom lip.</p><p>“It’s been almost two hours, what are they waiting for?”</p><p>“I don’t know, okay! Stop it, both of you” Blaise said, standing up between the two of us. He still looked drunk enough, but his voice was low and dangerous when he spoke up. “You two need to fucking behave or we won’t be allowed to see them like, at all. So, I want you” he pointed at me. “to stop trying to kill Granger by staring at her, and you” he pushed Theo back into his chair “just don’t look at the nurses as if you wanted to strangle them”</p><p>“What’s gotten into you?”</p><p>“I don’t bloody know!” he shot back. “But if I’m the one who’s behaving properly, we have a fucking problem, Draco Lucius Malfoy”</p><p>He had a point. But, fuck, what had happened? I mean, Daphne’s Mini Coupé was already on the way to the junkman. The nurse had said they’d just crashed. What against? There were no more cars involved in the accident. Was she really that awful at driving?</p><p>“I’m killing them both” I said.</p><p>“I agree with you, but we might have to postpone the vengeance for when they can actually walk on their own” Blaise tried to calm me. I rolled my eyes.</p><p>“I mean it, Blaise. They should have asked us to drive them”</p><p>“They’ve been assholes”</p><p>“Agreed”</p><p>Theo swore under his breath. He had been quieter than usual. Too quiet. I was not an idiot. I already knew he’d been in love with Daphne for years and he adored Pansy, he respected her in a way only a brother could. Of course, he was worried. But there was something else, I could sense it. I didn’t ask, though.</p><p>“I swear to God I’ll stop stalking Potter if everything turns out okay” Blaise murmured. I locked eyes with him and couldn’t help it. I laughed. Soundly, freely. It was so stupid, but it still made me laugh. Theo smiled, which was a lot more than what we could ask for, and Blaise hugged him from behind. “I’m dead serious, guys. No more fooling around”</p><p>“That was really mature of you” I said. He smiled, to which Theo rolled his eyes.</p><p>“The bar is set really low, isn’t it, Zabini?” he said. Blaise snorted. It was deadly low.</p><p>“What happened with you two?” I asked, arching an eyebrow. “Like, really. The truth. I don’t think you’ve ever talked about it”. Blaise was still hugging Theo, but his smile dropped to the ground.</p><p>“Are we really doing this thing where three guys open themselves up in a critical situation and end up crying?” he shot.</p><p>Theo just shrugged.</p><p>“Not if you don’t want to…”</p><p>“Shut up, Nott, it’s my moment” Blaise hushed him, crossing his legs. “Let’s see. Where should I begin?”</p><p>“The beginning?” I offered.</p><p>“Stop interrupting! Anyway. You all know we had been friends for a while when I kind of faced the fact he was fine as hell, so I acted in consequence and… well, it didn’t turn out as I expected to” he ended up in a whisper. I frowned.</p><p>“I thought you were in the same page?”</p><p>“I thought so, too. I mean, he had to know I had feelings for him. I was not subtle about it. I’m not subtle about anything”. Theo nodded.</p><p>“That’s the truest fact you’ve ever said”</p><p>“Anyway, he was not ready to face his bisexuality or whatever it was he was more identified with, so he began with all that whispering I’d been acting like a crazy teenage girl, pining over him”</p><p>“You were” I pointed out. He shrugged, was he sad? I shouldn’t have said anything. However, he kept on talking.</p><p>“I mean, after a while. When he told me he didn’t see me that way, I gave him space. It was not until after the rumors began that I was like, you know, let’s make the rumors true so that he actually knows what’s like to have Blaise Zabini bothering him” he finished with a growl.</p><p>“Very Blaise-like. Did Pansy help you plan this all? Why the fuck didn’t you tell us the truth?” Theo wondered. He looked so tired. Blaise too. They looked like shit, but Blaise just shrugged again. I crossed my arms over my chest.</p><p>“Seriously, man, we would have backed you up. You know what they said about you, that you were crazy”</p><p>“I mean, eventually it was more of a joke to me. I acted like that because I wanted him to face the fact that he did like me. He could never admit it, but it was the truth. I deserve the truth, don’t you think?”</p><p>“I think Potter is an idiot” Theo stated. I smiled. “I’m bloody serious, Zabini, fuck him. He does not deserve you”</p><p>“Yeah, fuck him. except that I really, <em>really </em>like him, a lot. I just can’t step back and let him have his life, not when I see him every day at campus, not when he’s had the nerve to come to my bloody party tonight. How dare he? Did you see him?”</p><p>“Yeah” I agreed. I remembered him. I wanted to kill him, but for my own reasons. “He was snogging the hell out of Michael Corner on my leather couch”</p><p>Blaise swore under his breath.</p><p>“He’s an asshole. End of story. I mean, tonight he kind of admitted to everyone at the party that he’s into men”</p><p>“Yeah, he’s just not into me. Is there something wrong with me?”. I shook my head.</p><p>“Have you seen your body? You’re an African god” I offered, elbowing Theo.</p><p>“Yeah. That hair? Wish I could pull that off”</p><p>“Look at those lips, Theo. Don’t you want to kiss them?”</p><p>“I definitely do, Draco. How can you contain yourself?”</p><p>“You’re the worst” Blaise laughed. It felt almost normal, to have a laugh with my friends. Apart from the fact we were in the middle of the waiting room, sitting on the floor, half-drunk.</p><p>“I’m serious, Blaise” Theo murmured, locking is eyes with Blaise’s. “You should just forget about him. If he actually cares about you, he’ll eventually come around. If not, fuck him” he stated. He did have a point. Blaise just shrugged.</p><p>“How has that been working with our Greengrass girl?”.</p><p>
  <em>That was so low, Blaise</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I know, I’m sorry, Pans.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Are you serious? I love it.</em>
</p><p>I knew this was going to end up badly, but, hey, if it was time to actually open ourselves and show our hearts, I was ready for it. Theo just blushed, looking away.</p><p>“Leave him alone, Blaise” I warned him. Blaise shook his head.</p><p>“Fuck it. Come on, Nott, just bloody tell us. What might change if you finally, once and for all, admit that you’re crazy for Daphne? We already know it”</p><p>“It’s not like that” he murmured.</p><p>“It’s never like that with you, man” Blaise pushed, eyeing him carefully. I expected Theo to snap at Blaise, but he just sighed, closing his eyes.</p><p>“What do you want me to admit? That I like her? You already know. I would bloody ask her to marry me and it would still not be enough because she doesn’t see me that way” he shot back. I frowned. Was he blind?</p><p>“Are we talking about the same Daphne? Man, she has you as her emergency contact. Not Pans, not her sister. You” I whispered.</p><p>“Why does nobody have me as their emergency contact?” Blaise then wondered.</p><p>“You never pick up your phone” Theo and I answered at the same time.</p><p>“Oh. Right”</p><p>“I bloody mean it. We all know Daphne. She’s been waiting for you to make the first move for years now” I insisted. Theo rolled her eyes, and Blaise pulled a face. “What?”</p><p>“I mean, after the Halloween accident things kind of changed” Blaise murmured.</p><p>“What the fuck are you talking about?” I snapped at Theo. “What did you do?”</p><p>Theo frowned.</p><p>“Not him. Daph. Right there with Neville Longbottom, we both saw it”. I didn’t even have time to adjust to the news. It felt impossible. Daphne? Neville Longbottom? It didn’t add up.</p><p>“You’re delusional. Blaise, don’t back him up. That’s just stupid”</p><p>“I thought so, too, but…” Blaise began. Theo cut him off, waving his hand.</p><p>“That’s okay, I can live with it!” he stated. I frowned. “I’m just mad because I’m a sad, idiot friend who can’t put aside his feelings for his fucking best friend since birth” Theo lamented.</p><p>“Come on, it can’t be like that. She looks at you like you’re the bloody Sun. And you’re not a very nice, talkative person, Theo. She’s into you, badly” I insisted.</p><p>“Yeah, that’s utterly bullshit” Granger interrupted me, startling us. I quickly got up and looked at her, her wallet in one hand and the four large cups of coffee in the other one. She was frowning at Blaise, who just looked at her, curious.</p><p>“Granger, what do you know?”. She shrugged, offering each of us a cup of coffee. It was still warm. Gosh, I missed coffee. Granger just sat in one chair, crossing her legs under her knees.</p><p>“Neville. It was not Greengrass he was hooking up with. He was with Pansy Parkinson”</p><p>Oh.</p><p>“Are you sure? I saw her…”. Blaise closed his mouth, then opened it. Then closed it. Then he swore, out loud. “Bloody Pansy Parkinson. That’s why she suddenly appeared, out of nowhere. She had been hiding from us”</p><p>“Yeah, she’s not a very good person. She actually treated Neville like shit, but it doesn’t surprise me. Anyway, I don’t know why, he still likes her”</p><p>“Are you fucking serious?” Theo blurted out. He looked as if he was about to faint. Blaise took one of his large hands in between his.</p><p>I could only look at Granger’s little nose, reddish and cold, covered in freckles and asking to be pinched. I shook my head. <em>Concentrate</em>, I told myself.</p><p>“Calm down” I began. Theo shook his head.</p><p>“I’ve been avoiding her for a bloody month, guys. <em>A month. </em>all because of a massive misunderstanding”</p><p>Blaise frowned. Granger sighed and took a sip of her own cup, her eyes closing for a second. She had the most beautiful eyelashes I’d ever seen, long and dark and curly towards the end. Blaise was still gaping, unable to form a complete sentence after this shocking revelation.</p><p>“Really? This is why you’ve been a bitch this whole month?” he finally said. Theo shrugged, unable to move. He looked like he could crush the organic cardboard cup in his hand. Blaise was still stammering. “God, Daphne had told me you were being weird, I just didn’t think it was because of the Neville accident”</p><p>“It was not an accident! Your friend Parkinson messed up with him” Granger interrupted. I gulped. She had that fierce look that she usually had when she was about to debate with an asshole at campus about feminism, or black rights movements, or the Palestinian invasion.</p><p>“Why on earth did we not talk about this before? We’ve had a month!” I said. Blaise shot me a killing look.</p><p>“Fuck you, Malfoy. We’ve been trying to keep you alive and away from ugly grey sweaters 24/7 for the last month. It was important”</p><p>They were exaggerating, of course.</p><p>
  <em>We were not.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Not at all.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Fuck you both, guys.</em>
</p><p>“So, you’re telling me it was Pansy who’d decided to snog Longbottom, and then threw Daph on top of him in order to cover her story” Blaise finished. Theo was about to cry.</p><p>“I’ve been an idiot”</p><p>“You have” I agreed. “It’s taken you forever to finally understand it”</p><p>“I have to tell Pansy she’s the worst person in the planet”</p><p>“Yeah, let’s wait for that”</p><p>“I have to fucking tell her, Blaise. Wait, no. I have to tell Daphne. I have to tell her how I feel, how I really do”</p><p>“I don’t think she’s going to be very nice to you, Theo. You’ve treated her like shit. She was afraid to ask you to take her to her parents, it took her a week to decide whether she was going with you or by herself. And her parents live like 2 minutes away from yours” Blaise remembered. I paled, then.</p><p>That’s why Daphne hadn’t asked any of us to take them to the party. Oh, I was going to kill her and her bloody pride. The three of us were thinking the same thing, of course, because we all swore at the same time.</p><p>“Oh, guys, real smooth” Granger praised us. I tried not to look at her. Theo was still talking about his feelings, hugging Blaise. Once he’d begun, it seemed like he couldn’t stop. Man, he had it bad for our Greengrass.</p><p>
  <em>I don’t know why no one is interrupting him</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I was fighting in order to live at the moment, so I want to know what was happening. Let him speak!</em>
</p><p>
  <em>You ended up having four broken bones, Pans</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I’m not the dramatic one, Nott. You admitted your feelings in a waiting room, while the love of your life was also fighting in order to live</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Touché</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Guys, I had a minor internal bleeding. You’re both exaggerating, now!</em>
</p><p>I was still trying to wrap my mind around the idea of Pansy and Neville Longbottom, together, when I felt Granger’s little hand on my shoulder.</p><p>“A word?” I heard her whisper. I stilled. I was not ready to face her and I was not fucking ready to let her go, either. I had been stuck, trying to hate that cute, little person, for over a month. it had not worked out, though.</p><p>I nodded and followed her to the little hallway and rested my back on the half-broken vending machine. She looked as if she was about to cry. I totally understood her. I knew she had kind of befriended Daphne at school, Daphne was a little ray of sunshine and tended to be liked. Granger was also the most empathetic person in the planet, so I jumped to the conclusion she was sad for her and worried about her outcome.</p><p>“So?” I urged her to speak. I was feeling really uncomfortable, to be honest. What the hell was she going to tell me?</p><p>“I’m really sorry, Draco…” she began in a whisper. I actually hated it when Granger whispered. She was meant to scream, to yell her thoughts because she had so many good ideas the whole world had to hear. Granger was supposed to be heard, to be listened, to be obeyed. She was so bloody intelligent it sometimes shocked me. Hearing her in an almost inaudible whisper made me want to punch the wall. I hated it. I wanted the whole conversation to stop.</p><p>“Were you driving the yellow Mini Coupé, Granger?” I snarled. She looked away. Was I making her uncomfortable? Good. I could hear Pansy clapping because I was finally standing up for myself. Thinking of Pansy at the moment made me want to throw up, though.</p><p>“No, I wasn’t, but…”</p><p>“Then it’s not your fault. You don’t have to say sorry. This is between my idiot friends and me and our lack of communication, so, no; don’t say you’re sorry just because you want to say something”</p><p>“I’m trying to explain myself!” she almost shouted. I looked around. Thank god there was no one there. I sighed.</p><p>“Don’t! Don’t explain yourself, Granger. For once, let it be” I almost pleaded. I was not ready to fight with her, not at that moment. “Look, if you’d just wanted to say you were sorry, you could have told me in front of my” I pointed at the door to the waiting room. “two mates in there”</p><p>“Draco, I know you’re upset with me…”</p><p>“Not everything revolves around you, Granger” I shot back. I was livid. I could swear she was on the verge of crying. I couldn’t care less, or that’s what I kept telling myself. “Am I upset with you? I might, in another circumstances. Right now? I’m upset at the most important girls in my life and also at myself because I was too worried crying after you to even notice my friends had their own bloody problems, you know? And they…” I took air. “They put their crap aside to help me and right now I need to put my crap aside to help them and support them, and don’t look at me that way!”</p><p>“Like what?” she murmured, still locking her incredibly pretty, golden brown eyes with mine. This was really hard.</p><p>
  <em>I’m so proud of you, my little bitchy broken-hearted man.</em>
</p><p>“I don’t know! Like you actually care!”. She huffed and crossed her arms over her sweater. It was hideous, Gosh, and I still wanted to bury my head in the crook of her neck.</p><p>“I do care, Draco Malfoy! It’s three in the morning and I’m here, putting up with you and your drunk friends because I care! About you! A lot!” she almost screamed. That’s the Granger I liked, the furious one. I stepped back.</p><p>“Well, you shouldn’t!” I screamed back.</p><p>“Oh! Great! What should I do about it, then?” she shot back. It took me half a second to answer.</p><p>“You don’t know? Well, ask your boyfriend, Granger, the one you should have been kissing that night instead of me!!”</p><p>She opened her mouth, unable to form a word. We were both breathing heavily. It felt good, to let go of that rage that was within me. Trying to pretend I didn’t want to see her again for weeks was nearly killing me. I could not pretend I didn’t want her, that was a blatant lie. I took air.</p><p>“You really hurt me that night, Granger! I’m sorry I might have overreacted, but that kiss, that… well, you know…” I was stuttering. No, I couldn’t stutter. “whatever we did back there, it did mean something for me! I thought we were getting somewhere, and I… I was a fucking gentleman! Did I, by any means, force you to do anything?”</p><p>“No”</p><p>“Did I push you or coerced you, in the whole year we’d been friends before that night?”</p><p>“Draco, of course not…”</p><p>“Did I even show my intentions with you?”</p><p>“No…”</p><p>“I could be patient, Granger” I finally breathed. I was so mad, so so mad. “I could wait for years because you were bloody worth it. I liked you so much that I didn’t even mind I had to be the eternal best mate for the rest of my life, if that’s what it took to at least share something with you”</p><p>“Draco, I…”</p><p>“No! Don’t even start crying! You know I hate it when you cry”</p><p>Granger then closed her eyes, opened them again and shot me a killing glare. She took a step towards me and I, Draco Lucius Malfoy, felt scared of her.</p><p>“Will you shut up? just for a moment?” she snarled. “You’re so full of yourself, Draco Malfoy. I did not come here because I needed to clean my conscience, I already know what I did was extremely wrong, you know?”</p><p>“Then what the hell are you doing here?”</p><p>“I’m trying to explain!!” she shot back. “I am sorry, okay? I didn’t think of anything that night, anything but you and how I really, really liked you too! I was still with Ron, though!”</p><p>“Why are you screaming at me? I’m not the cheater!”</p><p>“I bloody well know I’m the cheater, you idiot! I broke up with Ron next week, you know! When you saw us together on Monday, we were about to meet his parents, so he asked me to still go, pretend for a little while!”</p><p>“What the fuck?” I whispered. I did not understand anything. Was that a mere excuse? Was she telling the truth? I wasn’t sure of anything, anymore.</p><p>“Yeah, his mom has been sick for a while, and she really likes me. So, I complied, but I never lied to him about what happened! I told Ron about us that night! We’d been off for a while; it was not working. Maybe it was the fact that I was falling for you, maybe the fact he was kind of an asshole, I didn’t know” she was shouting. Blaise and Theo could probably hear us from the room. I shook my head.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“I didn’t come to you right when we were officially over because I wanted to give you space. I messed up, Draco, and I’m really sorry. I went to your place to explain, because I had not seen you around for weeks, and you never answered my texts, so I thought maybe you were still mad…”</p><p>I barked a laugh.</p><p>“Mad? Granger, I was a mess. Pansy was mad. Blaise wanted to kidnap you. I couldn’t even bring myself out of bed. It was pathetic” I interrupted her. She gulped.</p><p>“I’m sorry, and I’ll be saying I’m sorry forever, if that’s what it takes for you to forgive me. I should have been clear with you, with Ron, with everyone. I was just afraid of change and… Draco, I really like you. A lot, actually. What we did that night, gosh, it was amazing, I felt amazing, as if for the first time in years I could really be myself”</p><p>“Yeah, and you threw it off the bridge next week”</p><p>“Ron was my friend, before anything else! But you’re right, okay? I messed up, I was confused and I didn’t act properly, not with you, at least. I’m sorry I’m even a worse friend than a girlfriend, Draco, and I’m really sorry I ended up whatever opportunity we had before we actually had it” she breathed out, finally.</p><p>I was pretty sure my brain had been short-circuited. I had no idea what to say, not when she was actually admitting what I’d been longing to hear. It was, obviously, the worst moment, but I couldn’t care less, not when she was so close to me, her hair a wild mess and her eyes watery, dark circles under them probably from the lack of sleeping.</p><p>“I…”</p><p>I breathed, heavily. Granger’s face was inches away from mine. It could be really easy to just stop the world, get over my stupid hurt heart and just end It, right then. Kiss her, against the vending machine. Cage her with my whole body and never, in my life, let her go. Take her out of those sweats. Take her to dinner. Her lips were cracked, dry, her face still wet from her tears. However, her eyes were true. She could tell me she was the heir to the monarchy of Romania and I would still believe her.</p><p>A knock.</p><p>“Yeah, sorry to interrupt”. Blaise’s voice. I turned to the door, as if I had been burned. Granger was the fire, and I was just dancing around her. “Anyway, they are awake. Let’s go, Draco”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Hermione Granger</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>"What do you think I did when I was with Draco? I talked, Ronald. I couldn’t stop talking and he listened and argued with me about everything”</p><p>“Well, we never argue”</p><p>“You never give me a chance! It’s always you, your football team, how jealous you are of Harry, always you. Do you even know which classes I’m attending this semester? What I did on summer break?”</p><p>“You were to Africa to cure little boys…”</p><p>“I went to Ecuador to build a water well for a village of 50 people”.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>Hermione Granger – A week after the <em>The Day with capital D</em></strong>
</p><p>
  <em>I don’t get why we let her do this</em>
</p><p>“Ronald” I whispered. It was all wrong. I should have been clearer. Honestly, we’d been friends for so long it felt wrong to be this nervous around him. “Say something”. He looked at me, his eyes wide open, as if trying to find a good comeback.</p><p>I once read a book about how, whenever you want something so badly you might combust if you don’t get it, the universe will never give it to you. You have to wish for it, maybe long for it, but you should never focus on getting it. This way, you get surrounded by bad energies, negative energies.</p><p>The universe is wise enough to understand what you need, what you want, and what you feel like you need but, in reality, you just want it. Like a child. You can live without it; you just have decided you won’t. Basically, if you think about what you don’t have, you won’t get it. it’s called the Law of Attraction. It lacks of any scientific support, whatsoever. I still stood by it.</p><p>I just hadn’t understood how much until I was there, sitting in front of my long-time boyfriend, my most treasured friend of my whole life. I shook my head as I counted all the freckles on his nose, wondering if that could be the last time, I would be close enough to his face to do it.</p><p>15.</p><p>I was the best at everything I did. I had never lost anything in my life. I just hadn’t realized I was also the best at fucking things up. Ron hadn’t said a word.</p><p>His cup of coffee had turned cold. There was no ice left in my gin and tonic.</p><p>The Law of Attraction had made me not think about how wrong our relationship had turned out. If I didn’t think about it, it would miraculously take a turn for the better. That’s what I thought.</p><p>I wondered if me snogging Draco had been the only reason for us to be in that situation. Maybe it was. Deep inside, I knew it wasn’t.</p><p>“I…” he began. I clutched the glass in front of me, so hard my knuckles were white.  Maybe if I grabbed hard enough, it would break. “I forgive you, ‘Mione” he said, at last, his voice rough.</p><p>
  <em>He what?</em>
</p><p>I shook my head.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“I forgive you. I mean, I’ve had some time to think about it. I get it, I get you’re still mad at yourself. But we’ve been through so much. We will go through this” he promised, his long fingers lingering over my wrist. He hadn’t understood a single thing I had told him. Not the night after <em>that</em> happened, not the week after, not what I told him as we made our way out of the hospital.</p><p>He could hear me, I was sure. He just never listened.</p><p>“Ron” I began, my voice too light for the tsunami I was feeling inside. “Ron, thank you for your forgiveness, but…”</p><p>He interrupted me. He always interrupted me. It drove me mad. I sighed, as he talked again. Once he had begun, he couldn’t stop.</p><p>“We’ll work it out, babe. We always do. Once you stop attending those classes, and once you stop talking to that Greengrass girl, I’m sure. I’ll ask my brother to organize something for Christmas Break, a little getaway. You always love those romantic plans, no matter how much of a feminist you say you are, and I will bring you flowers like I did at the beginning of our relationship, it will all go back to normal” he breathed, his last words almost a question.</p><p>
  <em>Stop what? Theo, did I hear right?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He wishes he could talk to Daphne!</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Oh, I’m going to show him how much of a feminist I can be</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Pansy, hide that… is that pocket knife?</em>
</p><p>Something burned in me, I didn’t know if it was the guilt, the rage, the sudden sadness.</p><p>After all, he was hopeful.</p><p>I took a zip of the washy gin and tonic, bracing myself for the tsunami to be unleashed, and closed my eyes.</p><p>“Ron, I don’t want to get back to what we were” I murmured. He shook his head.</p><p>“What do you mean? You told me you were giving me time to think. I’ve thought”</p><p>“To give you time to think about what I did to you. Never to go back together” I snapped. He blushed.</p><p>“What the hell, ‘Mione?”. I felt like I was about to cry. I already knew what everybody would be saying about me. What a heartless bitch.</p><p>Cheater.</p><p>Slut.</p><p>Whatever.</p><p>“Ronald, I don’t want to stop attending those classes. You know very well I’ve worked so hard to get into this program”</p><p>“So what? You’ll keep on pairing with Malfoy on all of your projects? How convenient”</p><p>Was it really worth it to fight about that? I personally didn’t find the appeal of it. Maybe he just wanted to vent up. I kind of deserved it.</p><p>
  <em>You didn’t. He’s an asshole.</em>
</p><p> “You don’t control me, Ronald Weasley. I might have fucked up, and I’m really sorry. That doesn’t excuse your behaviour”</p><p>“Sure, Hermione, blame it on me. You always do, anyway. What an open-minded person you are”</p><p>“What do you mean? You’re being ridiculous!” I snarled. He was infuriating.</p><p>“You cheated on me with Dracon bloody Malfoy. Is he worth it? he looks like an asshole, always has, with all his money and his pointy noise. He’s a republican, I’m sure” he replied. I rolled my eyes.</p><p>“He would never in his life accuse me of liking feminine stuff and not being a feminist, you know? I’m pretty sure he would never oblige me to stop attending a class I’ve fought so hard to get into and I’m sure as hell he would never be such an asshole, trying to control me”</p><p>“I’M NOT CONTROLLING YOU!”</p><p>“What the bloody fuck are you trying to do, then?”. I hadn’t realized we were screaming at each other. “Ron, I’ve been patient. For you, for your family. Don’t blame me for wanting an out of this thing we have”</p><p>“It’s called a relationship and…”</p><p>“Is it? I think it’s a one-sided one. You never listen, always speaking for me as if I didn’t have a voice. What do you think I did when I was with Draco? I talked, Ronald. I couldn’t stop talking and he listened and argued with me about everything”</p><p>“Well, we never argue”</p><p>“You never give me a chance! It’s always you, your football team, how jealous you are of Harry, always you. Do you even know which classes I’m attending this semester? What I did on summer break?”</p><p>“You were to Africa to cure little boys…”</p><p>“I went to Ecuador to build a water well for a village of 50 people”.</p><p>
  <em>Even I knew about that.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Yeah, me too.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Draco really is insistent.</em>
</p><p>“You’re just too much!”. It hurt. It sounded like it was my fault for being excited about learning, excited about the world, about changing it. It still hurt.</p><p>“Thank you! You’re not what I expected from a boyfriend, either!” I replied. I couldn’t tell when I had started crying, when he had started crying.</p><p>I thought it would feel like a closure, that it wouldn’t hurt so much. It didn’t. I was wrong. It hurt like hell, and I just couldn’t stop it.</p><p>“I’m not your trophy girlfriend, Ronald. I never was, and I thought you knew”</p><p>I looked for my card inside my purse. He tried to stop me, grabbing my elbow. I snatched free.</p><p>“Get off me!”</p><p>“Listen to me!”</p><p>“I’ve always listened to you, Ron Weasley! I know everything about you, your family, your ambitions, your aspirations in life. I know how insecure you are, how you’ve always showed off your bloody smart and beautiful girlfriend, as if all my successes were yours too!” I shouted. He froze and I took a step back.</p><p>“I didn’t mean…”</p><p>“Well, they’re mine! All mine! you don’t get to ask anything of me! I’m tired of consenting your behaviour and still feel like it won’t be enough. We are not happy, Ron.”</p><p>“I am”</p><p>“Are you? Don’t lie. I’m a cheater and you will always think that of me, no matter how much you try to forgive me. And I will never in my life forgive myself for it, either. But I decide my punishment, not you”</p><p>“I can assure you you’re much better than him”</p><p>“This is not about him. It’s about us, and how we’ve both made mistakes”</p><p>“Then why don’t we fix them?!”</p><p>I sighed.</p><p>“Because it’s not worth it, Ronald! I don’t want to be with you anymore!”</p><p>“I’ll tell everyone what you did”</p><p>“Do it” I challenged him. “Kind of low of you, Weasley. I really thought we could be friends, maybe not now, but in a while”</p><p>“They’ll take my side” he said. He was so sure of himself. when had it changed so much? A minute ago, he was almost crawling at my feet for us to go back together. Now he was trying to black-mail me. Was this a TV show?</p><p>“I’m sure” I agreed. It was the truth. He was the sad one, the poor boy whose girlfriend had left for a much better man. He knew it, I knew it. I couldn’t care less. I just wanted an out.</p><p>“You’ll lose me, you’ll lose Harry. You’ll lose Neville, and Seamus, and Ginny”</p><p>“What makes you think they don’t know how you treat me? How you interrupt me, constantly, how you always scoff when I’m too friendly with them. They are my friends, too. Is this really a competition?”</p><p>“You have no idea how much I’ve suffered”</p><p>“Yeah, and I’m sorry for it. Don’t bargain with me, Ronald. I’ll step back, disappear from all your circles, if that’s what you want. I’m fine by it. Just… let me walk away. Let me go”</p><p>I was suffocating with him. I just wanted to never see his face again. Realization hit me. He was playing all his cards, and I didn’t want to play mine. He could win that time. I didn’t mind.</p><p>I had never lost anything in my life.</p><p> </p><p>Later at night, the first texts came onto my phone screen. I hadn’t unlocked my phone since I got out of the bar. I checked the first ones.</p><p>
  <strong>GinnyW [9:38 pm]: R U FUCKING SERIOUS</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>GinnyW [9:38 pm]: u gotta b joking mione, draco fucking malfoy</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>GinnyW [9:38 pm]: I knew there was smthg going on</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>GinnyW [9:39 pm]: my brother is a mess I hope you’re happy</strong>
</p><p>I chose not to answer Ginny’s texts. It wasn’t going to solve anything. She was going to hate me, either way.</p><p>
  <strong>+1 657 522 6829 [9:38 pm]: it’s always the perfect one who turns out a skank</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> +1 657 522 6829 [9:38 pm]: how could you do this to Ronald</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>+1 657 522 6829 [9:39 pm]: slut</strong>
</p><p>I rolled my eyes and blocked Lavender Brown at the moment. As if I didn’t already know who it was. She had asked for some papers not even a month ago and I hadn’t even bothered to add her as a contact. There was no point. She wanted to climb Ronald like a tree.</p><p>
  <strong>Neville from Biology [9:36 pm]: are u okay?</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Neville from Biology [9:42 pm]: I know you’re online</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Neville from Biology [9:42 pm]: we can hate Malfoy together</strong>
</p><p>I did not want to hate Draco. Ron, maybe. How could I hate Draco? It was not his fault. It was all mine. Fuck it all.</p><p>I sighed, left my phone onto the desk and buried myself inside the cozy blanket I’d been laying the whole afternoon.</p><p>The phone kept vibrating, the screen turning on and off, on and off again, as the messages multiplied themselves. I groaned and got up, knocking the empty bottle of wine at the feet of my bed. Of course, it shattered. Of course, I stepped into the glasses.</p><p>I almost screamed. People said when you’re numb, you don’t feel anything. Your inner pain is enough. They all lied. My left foot was bleeding and it hurt like a mother-fucker.</p><p>I mouthed the worst curse I could think of as I sat onto the bed and checked the injury. I carefully took al the glass out of my sole and tried to bandage it as nicely as I was able, using for the first time the first aid kit my mom had got me for Christmas last year.</p><p>It still hurt. I could say everything in my body hurt. I unlocked the phone with one finger.</p><p>
  <strong>Harry Potter [9:40 pm]: hey, are u up? Just heard from ron</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Harry Potter [9:41 pm]: you should have told me</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Harry Potter [9:40 pm]: I’m sure hes been a prat</strong>
</p><p>More like an asshole, I wanted to answer. I didn’t. the three dots on his side of the screen were proof he wasn’t going to stop.</p><p>
  <strong>Harry Potter [9:41 pm]: are we still up for weekly brunch on Sunday? Just me and u</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Harry Potter [9:41 pm]: I know a new place</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Harry Potter [9:41 pm]: it’s all organic you’ll love it</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Harry Potter [9:41 pm]: I already checked their menu</strong>
</p><p>Against all odds, I laughed. He was a real one, Harry Potter. I was sure he was taking Ron’s side. He always surprised me, that boy.</p><p>
  <strong>Me [9:43]: Sounds good</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Me [9:44]: Are you sure you want to be seen with me? I think there’s not a Weasley left who doesn’t want to kill me</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Harry Potter [9:45 pm]: It could be worse</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Harry Potter [9:45 pm]: I’ll pick you up at 10</strong>
</p><p>I smiled and locked my phone. I had over 35 unread texts from Ginny Weasley, George Weasley and Seamus Finnigan. No answer from Draco. It had been a fucking week. How long was he going to be mad?</p><p>I mean, I fucked everything up. I know I did. It was just that whenever Ron and I were fighting, he was always there to back me up and promise me over and over again I could do so much better. He didn’t stop repeating it until I kind of believed him.</p><p>It turned out maybe it was him who could do so much better.</p>
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